Blue Fried "Shrimp", Morel, Sprouting Broccoli, Ramp and Baby Arugula Salad with a Fiddlehead Remoulade Dressing

My life has me so busy lately that I completely missed my two year blogaversary! Happy belated 2nd blogaversary to me. I can't believe I've been posting here almost every week for two years and I've yet to run out of silly things to talk about. If you've been reading for a while, you know I usually go for laughs, and I suppose my life is pretty funny on a daily basis.

This week, the humor in my world is more about sheer situational irony. Last Friday, I'm sitting at my desk sipping my morning coffee when my phone rings: it's my agent's office. "You have an audition, and it's today", the say. "Great!", I think to myself. I love getting auditions. "What's it for?", I ask. "Jimmy Dean Sausage."

That's when my heart stops. I have an "Oh Shit" Moment. A million thoughts start racing through my mind. Do I have to eat the sausage? Should I even go on the audition? Can I really endorse a product I don't actually stand behind or want to further the consumption of?

Of course, the immediate "go to" answer is to not go. But hear me out on this one: commercials pay a bank load. I've been strapped for cash for months, and booking a commercial would be one answer to my problems. As long as I don't eat it, what's the harm? Well, the harm is that I could end up:

A) Responsible for increasing the death of animals by endorsing a product with my "Sell It" smile
B) Actually increase the number of people who want to consume such products by endorsing it and making something gross look appetizing.

So what did I do? I went to the audition. I got a call-back. I went to the call back. I'm now waiting to find out if I actually booked the damn gig. What I'll actually do if I book is another story, and the thoughts have been plaguing my mind all day. Like I said, my life is funny that way. The vegan in a sausage commercial. Go fucking figure.

Anyway, let's talk about something vegan and delicious. This week, I'm posting a very seasonal, Farmers Market driven SALAD! Yes, the "S" word. I actually posted something light and (almost) healthy. My little sister made the trek up from the OC to L.A. so that she could find herself some green garlic at the amazing Santa Monica Farmers Market, and I took it as an opportunity to score a shit load of great produce. I then set to work on this work or art, and I highly recommend you at least try making the dressing. It's yummy and refreshing.

Have a great week!


For the Dressing...
1/4 cup MimicCreme mixed with 2 TBSP Egg Mix1 cup raw Fiddlehead FernsThe juice of 1 Lemon1/4 cup chopped Green Onions1/4 cup chopped Celery1 TBSP Horseradish3 TBSP Whole-Grain Mustard3 TBSP Yellow Mustard3 TBSP Vegan Ketchup3 TBSP Chopped ParsleySalt, to tasteFreshly Ground Black Pepper, to tastePinch of Cayenne Pepper1 cup Olive Oil
For the Salad...
1/2 lb Morel Mushrooms, cleaned2 cups Sprouting Broccoli5 TBSP Vegan MargarineSalt and Pepper, to taste5 cups Ramps, roughly chopped and stems discarded5 cups Baby Arugula2 packages of Frozen Vegan Shrimp, thawed2 cups Hot Sauce2 cups Unbleached White Flour2 cups Blue CornmealVegetable Oil, enough for fryingCreole Seasoning (Cajun Blast or Tony Cachere's), to taste1 large Sweet Onion, sliced into thin rings3 TBSP Chopped Parsley
Combine all of the dressing ingredients except oil, salt, pepper and cayenne in a food processor, and blend until smooth. Season with the salt, pepper and cayenne to taste. Turn the machine back on, and slowly pour in the olive oil while the machine is still running until thick. Add more salt, pepper and cayenne if needed.

In a large skillet over medium high heat, melt the vegan margarine. Add the morels and sprouting broccoli, then toss well to combine. Season with salt and pepper, then saute for about 5-6 minutes until the morels and broccoli are softened and browning. Remove from heat and set aside.

Take the thawed Vegan Shrimp, and toss with the hot sauce in a mixing bowl. In a separate mixing bowl, combine the flour, blue cornmeal, and as much Creole Seasoning as you desire. In batches, toss the Vegan Shrimp in the cornmeal/flour/seasoning mix, making sure they're coated completely. Shake off any excess flour.

Heat 5-6 inches of Vegetable Oil in a very deep pot until it reaches 350 degrees. Fry the Vegan Shrimp in batches for about 3 minutes. Remove with a slotted spoon and drain on paper towels.

For the salad, using a large bowl, toss the ramps and arugula with half of the dressing and a touch of salt and pepper. Place a mound of greens in the center of each plate, then lay a few onion slices over the greens. Place a few shrimp atop the greens, then lay the morels and sprouting broccoli around the mound of greens. Garnish with the freshly chopped parsley.