Death by Veggie Burger

Should you be a long time reader of Curly Top and be blessed with a particularly excellent memory, you might remember back to my May post chronicling my short visit here to visit RISD. I made a rather dangerous assumption that the food here was excellent and quite Emily friendly.

Fast forward through seven weeks of actual day in and day out cafeteria. Fast forward through the 84 gardenburgers that have sufficed as my one and only protein source. Now put the video of my life on pause and reflect. Textured soy protein + salt + salt + salt is fun for a while, but by the time my number hit the 40s I began to feel as though my tongue was slowly morphing into a 4 oz serving of meat substitute.

My gastronomical disgust with that now barf-inducing patty has introduced a true conundrum when it comes to mealtime. Considering the fact that the required freshman meal plan credits each student eleven nonrefundable dollars per meal, I better find an in house solution to the problemo. Breakfast occasionally features hard-boiled eggs which I collect in mass quantities on plastic cafeteria plates only to face the humiliation of going through check out with twelve or more chicken embryos rolling around on my tray. The salad bar features hummus, but that tends to have the flavor of freshly ground shoe rubber with a touch of lemon. Occasionally the grill features a seafood dish, but I prefer not to consume butter, oil, and batter with a side of cod.

Vegetarian protein aside, the meal plan is actually workable. The salad bar is, on the whole, well-stocked, and the soups (which double as delicious warm salad dressings) are positively scrumptious.

Bars are my salvation.



I also drink insane amounts of tea to counteract the even more insane amounts of coffee.



No harm intended to those on campus suffering from nut allergies, but this chica needs some nut butter lovin soon! Perhaps the madre will send a little love package. ;P

This curly personage is most definitely sure that, after this year, she will never again affront her digestive tract with grilled soy lecithin and modified vegetable gum!

With Love,

Emily