Food Fight

I?ve got lots of thoughts today, my friends. Lots of thoughts.

First off ? the winner of a year long subscription to YogaDownload (chosen with Random.org)?

Congrats, Grace! I?ll email you shortly!

Thank you to everyone who entered ? you all still have a chance to get a discount! Just enter the code HungryYogini at checkout through March 31st for a 35% discount on all classes through YogaDownload. Enjoy!

Now, onto the next order of business?

After a lunch out on the town, I feel compelled to share some thoughts with you. I do love good food. Mmm, yes I do. And dining out is such a treat?a time to relax and spend time with friends and family. But to be honest ? as much as I love it, I hate it just the same.

You heard me. Hate it.

Heather summed it up really well last week in this post about her ?rules for dining out,? and I found myself relating to exactly what she described. I go to restaurants a lot of the time with some preconceived idea of what I can eat, usually based on what I?ve eaten earlier in the day, what I plan to eat later, and however I feel about the usually imaginary ounce or two I?ve gained in the last 18 and a half minutes. Ridiculous. But true.

Now. Picture you?re living in Paris, home to some of the most delicious food ever. Everyday you leave the house, instantly smelling the macarons and fresh baguettes coming from the bakeries  on every corner, and watching gorgeous people dining in the cafes and restaurants on every street, sipping wine and eating foie gras and crème brûlée like it?s going out of style. 

Today I was amongst those diners, and ventured out to lunch with my foodie friend Jane, feeling both equally excited to have a meal in her company, and anxious about calories, sugar, and overindulgence.

The food was wonderful ? we each ordered the Salade Popeye; a bed of spinach with bacon, parmesan, balsamic vinaigrette and a poached egg.

But this post isn?t about the food. There we sat ? two young, beautiful girls in Paris, both worried about the same thing.

We talked about it ? the frustration, the anger at the fact that we even felt the way we did; guilty about our past few months of indulgence as we eat our way through Paris, wanting to do something about it, but yet still wanting to fully embrace this experience and accepting the fact that right now, we are where we are and that?s that. Jane is a women?s studies major, and I too have read every book about female empowerment (amen, sistah friend!), but despite reading and studying strong women, confident role models who are so much more than some outside shape or figure, we both struggle. 

Doesn?t it just make you mad? Why, oh why, can we not just sit back, relax, and enjoy? Why does my Salade Popeye, in all it?s cheesy, bacon filled goodness, come with a steaming hot side dish of guilt and remorse?

I?ve read the books, I?ve gotten, err, help, and I take deep breaths ?til I?m blue in the face, and still continue to feel that duality ? the desire to surround myself with good food, and that little tinge of guilt for doing so.

It?s the ultimate food fight. No, not that messy lunch cafeteria food fight with spaghetti flying across the room ? another kind of food fight; that internal battle that so many of us have going on at any given moment. Be it rules for dining out, or a special diet of some kind, there are different degrees to this food fight, but it seems to be such a recurring theme and I just want to do something about it, know what I mean? Why can?t we just stop the food fight?

Paris has challenged me in ways I can?t even describe. This has always been something that?s been a part of me, ever since I can remember at this point, but adapting to a new culture, language, and way of life has brought the challenge to a whole new level, forcing me to stay on my toes and more than anything, be gentle with myself. I like to think of the challenge as a positive thing though ? yes, it gets hard, but I think I?m going to come out stronger in the end, yes?

I?m not sure what the solution is, but I wanted to talk about it, mostly because after my conversation with Jane today, I know I?m not the only one. It?s just one of those things that I think about often, but just don?t really know what to do about, know what I mean? But. I?m ready to.

What are your thoughts? Do you have rules, or feel that duality with indulgence and guilt? How do you deal with the ?food fight??

Well, that?s all I?ve got for now. I?ll leave you with a little poem, a new favorite.

The Peace of Wild Things

When despair for the world grows in me
and I wake in the night at the least sound
in fear of what my life and my children?s lives may be,
I go and lie down where the wood drake
rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.
I come into the peace of wild things
who do not tax their lives with forethought
of grief. I come into the presence of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind stars
waiting with their light. For a time
I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.

                                                – Wendell Berry