Let?s Muse

Post Part 1

Greetings for morning post part 1 at a wonderful 2:31am! So I?ve been literally vomiting up information for this intro assignment for nearly 3 hrs and yeah I?m going to get it done to satisfactory turn in status, and it?s not the final paper just an intro so the professor can give comments on what your topic is and the direction you?re taking it in, but I don?t feel good about it. I also just don?t want to do the assignment.

The fact is, I?m really just not that happy with life right now. I don?t want this to sound like I?m complaining because I don?t mean it to be that, I?m working on fixing all the things I?m not satisfied with in my life. But the end all is that right now I?m just really not happy.

First, I should and have no business being in summer school. I was so burnt out after Spring Quarter ended and barely made it out with flying colors (anything less than a B- is less than satisfactory because I want to be able to go to grad school and to do that I need at least a 3.0 gpa). I enrolled on a whim because classes I needed just happened to be offered and by completing all of them I could graduate in March rather than June. But now I?m so over school I think I might get a C in this class and will it be worth it if I get a C? Probably not! It?s just bad because I?m so over it I don?t even really get anxious when I don?t have assignments done and I?m completing everything right under the wire. I think I?ve written both my papers so far the morning before they?re due.

Secondly, I need to get done with school! I?m just done with school in general. I don?t want to write papers anymore, I don?t want to read things because someone is telling me I have to, I don?t want to be forced to sit through lectures I hate simply so I can be a ?well rounded individual?. I think I?ve just been in school non stop for a long time. I graduated high school in ?05 and I?ve been in college non stop since then.

Thirdly, I just need my own space. I live at home with my family which is great. I don?t mind being around my family, actually I kinda like it. But as I get older, I?m now 23, I just want my space. I think part of it was that I lived on my own for my first two years of school so I has a taste of that kind of life. But I think it?s also just an adult thing. I want to have my own kitchen and fill my refrigerator with my own food. I want to have my own furniture and decorate how I like. I don?t know, maybe I want to have a dog to go on short runs with. I just need space that?s mine, and even in my room here it really isn?t mine.

Fourthly, I want to work and have money. I cant work right now, which no one seems to understand. Between full time school, that?s between three and nine hours of school a day, and the 3hr commute I have to do every day I have class that?s like 40+ hrs a week. Before studying, reading massive amounts of articles and journals, and writing sometimes over 50 pages of papers a quarter. There just simply isn?t enough hours in the day. My grades would suffer if I got a part time job, and honestly the only reason to work while living in this situation would be to get to a place where I could move out and support myself. With how much it costs to live here in the Monterey County I cannot work a part time job and make enough money for rent, let alone necessities like utilities, food, internet (a necessity for school- forget the blogging).

It?s like I?ve been in this same chapter of life, limbo kind of chapter, (face it college is total limbo!) for so long. Most of the people I hang out with that are my age, there aren?t too many of them, have already graduated and are supporting themselves and things. And here I am sleeping in the same room I?ve had since I was two and a half. I ride to school with my mom, who drops me off and picks me up, and I call to say where I am and when I?ll be getting home.

This isn?t because I have rules or anything like that, it?s just a nice thing to do. I love my house and my room here but I think it?s just part of growing up by moving on from? everything. I feel like I?ve been ready to do that for a long time. It?s like I?m over ripe to get out there.

I?m sorry this is a downer part 1 of Thursday?s post, I know I?ll be more chipper in a few hours, it?s how it works. But I?m just hitting a wall, hiding behind fake smiles and up beat words, bright colored blogs that yell happy just isn?t me right now. I just need to take the rest of the summer off (drop summer session 2), and gut out this next year of school. Then it will be time to set out on my own and define my adult life.

Thanks for sticking out this memoir, lol.

Post Part 2

Okay now that I?ve taken a 5hr nap I feel much better plus I?m enjoying some of this!

Oh yes Over Night Oats (ONOs) again! This time I mixed a Stonyfield Organics vanilla yogurt and mixed it with 1/3 cup old fashioned oats, a shake cinnamon and a shake pumpkin spice. Then this morning I added slivered almonds, raisins, and blueberries. I love how this batch tasted!

Because of letting the oats sit over night the cinnamon and pumpkin spice was really apparent in the flavor, love! I think ONOs have to be my favorite way to eat oats! It?s so funny how the one way to eat oats that I put off trying the longest is the way I really like to eat them.

Today is proving to be quite eventful

I have to shower muy pronto and get to the office to spend 2-ish hours finishing up my intro assignment
I have to get to class and provide myself with the appropriate snacks/lunch to do it. Depending on if my paper is done or not I could be late to class.
I have to get home and go to the grocery because I?m involved in a super secret mission tonight (I will share tomorrow morning I promise) and I need supplies
Spend hours making the perfect super secret mission item
Sleep because these 5hrs I got last night are really going to hit me at about 4pm!

LIGHT BULB!

For those of you who haven’t seen Despicable Me yet, whenever Gru has a profound moment or an idea he says ?Light bulb? very slow and mischievously. I loved this movie, plus I saw it opening weekend so a bunch of kids were in the audience and they laugh at completely different times than the adults. There is just something contagious about children?s laughter.  Gru might just be my favorite CGI villain of all time, even more than the monsters from Monsters Inc. 

But back to my Light bulb moment: Maybe I should take an Iced Starbucks Via to class with me for a mid lecture caffeine rush! I can?t wait to get through this morning and have this assignment done and turned in. Plus after today there is only one more week of class! YAY Hurah Yippee? Game on with a true Summer!

Have a Happy Day?

Question: Who is your favorite CGI children?s movie villain?