Only Hungry for Chocolate

I started another day with fast oats except this time, I didn’t use so much banana. I used 1/4 cup oats, 1/2 cup milk and a dash of salt. I cooked it for 2 minutes, stirred and cooked for 2 more minutes. Once it was done, I topped with half a small banana, a smidge more milk and an almond butter spoon. I like it much better this way and what I like most is that I can multi task while it cooks and pack all of my mini meal supplies.

Work was slow and steady. For some reason, I didn’t get hungry for my second meal of the day until almost 11. I had a leftover spinach and feta chicken sausage

and a little roasted butternut squash. I ate it all cold but think next time I will heat it up a bit.

T had to run errands so she offered to pick up sushi. I got a shrimp tempura roll with brown rice and a veggie roll. I only ate about half of both as I still wasn’t all that hungry, so look for a repeat of this tomorrow!

A little after lunch, I had a raging sweet tooth and decided to have a little square of chocolate. It did the trick for the time being. Just before go time, I had some greek yogurt with granola and agave. I promise there is some yogurt and agave under that pile of granola!

I was still craving chocolate so I ended up eating what was left of my chocolate stash, not quite half a ritter bar. It made me feel sick, I felt like a kid at halloween. When I left work, I really felt like I was going to be sick but I made it to therapy without having to pull over.

I guess my therapy was coming back to me because my therapist saw that I was there very early and went ahead and called me back. I guess that makes up for her being very late last week. This time, the water works started right away. I had been having a real tough week and even though I was pinpointing some issues, I wasn’t kicking the depression or the anxiety. She really pulled some answers out of me and I realized that I have been harboring something that I haven’t really talked about.

On Saturday, I was verbally assaulted by a crazy drunk driver. It really scared me at the time and still today I have some pretty creeped out thoughts about it. It has really triggered my anxiety and depression. My therapist wants me to focus this week on “coming down” from my anxious episodes by doing things that make me feel better, namely exercise. She also suggested medication since this time of year is always tough for me because of the lack of sunshine and the anniversary of my brothers death.  I am thinking over the medication idea but will try to exercise more to see if it breaks my gray cloud.

Once home from therapy, the dear husband had lovingly prepared a frozen pizza for us. It was the Archers Farms brand with goat cheese, tomato and spinach. I wasn’t very hungry so I didn’t eat very much of it.

After dinner, we watched Oprah on the DVR. By the time that was over my stomach actually growled, I think for the first time all day. I had a bowl of hazelnut biscotti cereal with milk and then called it a night.

QOTD: Do you eat just before bed if you are actually hungry? I have never really been a believer that you shouldn’t eat before bed, I was always in the calories in calories out camp.