Peace

Last week Max told me that on the upcoming Saturday night he and his friends were going to have a beach party for their friend Chris, who would be returning to Iraq on Sunday. He told me they were going to Santa Monica and it?s okay to have a bonfire there, so not to worry and he?d be out late so he?d be sleeping at another friend?s house. I only remember the last bit because I made him repeat it several times. I was still stuck on ?returning to Iraq on Sunday.?

I?ve never been a supporter of our former President or any of his idiotic schemes, operations or wars. I called the White House many times to voice my displeasure at almost everything he did, and I?ve written Senators Feinstein and Boxer so many times we are on a first-name basis. But Max?s friend going back to Iraq hit a little too close to home. The following day Max informed me that Chris was not in the military, but that he was going back ?for a good cause?: to build things. This didn?t provide much comfort. In 2004 my father made a similar journey.

My father has spent his career living in questionable places working as, no, not a spook, but a construction accountant. He gets very expensive stuff built in countries you and I will most likely never visit. I am used to his living in odd places. During most of my childhood he called Saudi Arabia home. Until Iraq, he had never lived in a war zone. He, like the other civilians, was sent home from the Middle East before the Gulf War began in 1990.

I flew to New York to see my dad before he shipped out in October 2004, and I really thought it would be the last time I would see him standing upright and breathing. We had lunch at the Oyster Bar and walked from Grand Central Station up to the Dakota at 72nd Street and Central Park West. It was a beautiful, warm fall day and the people sporting the Boston baseball caps roamed the streets unscathed and seemed to be enjoying the weather as much as we were. It was the second day of the American League East playoffs and the Red Sox were in town to tussle with the Yankees?and, unfortunately, win.

My dad stayed in Iraq for two years, and we emailed a few times a week. The constant communication didn?t make his adventures in the Red Zone any easier to take, though. As a survival mechanism I stopped reading the paper and never watched CNN.

When I weepily confided to my friend Tamra that I didn?t think I?d ever see my father again, she reassured me with, ?Lori, he?s not afraid. He?ll come back just fine.? It didn?t stop the waterworks, but she turned out to be right. I?m not sure if it was fearlessness or luck that delivered him home in one piece.

Since the war began, a women?s group I belong to has made regular shipments of baked goods to an airborne unit in Iraq. The incredibly appreciative men and women of this unit, thankfully, left Iraq for good about six months ago, and we have yet to be assigned a new crew. As much as I loved baking for these guys, I don?t want a new crew assignment. I don?t want to have to wonder if the cookies and brownies I?m making will make it into some young man or woman?s hand and if that young man or woman will live to tell about it. I want everyone to come home like my dad, and, hopefully, Chris?safe and sound and ?just fine.? I?ll be happy to bake for them then.

Chocolate Zucchini Muffins
Vegan
Makes a dozen muffins

The sweetness of your applesauce matters. Trader Joe?s organic unsweetened applesauce is my favorite. It?s consistently the right sweetness. I?ve found other brands way too unpredictable, and this has all to do with the apple crop used. But, since baking to begin with can be so unpredictable, why not use the tried-and-true whenever possible? Leave out the chocolate if you want; sub walnuts if you must, but toast them first. In fact, I advise always toasting your nuts.

1½ cups all-purpose flour
½ cup almond meal
½ cup good-quality cocoa powder, sifted
1 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
¾ cup sugar plus more for sanding
½ cup unsweetened almond milk
? cup canola oil
½ cup unsweetened applesauce
1 teaspoon vanilla
2 cups grated zucchini (about 2 medium)
½ cup raw almonds, toasted and coarsely chopped

1. Preheat oven to 350°. Prepare muffin pan by lining with baking cups or lightly greasing and flouring.

2. In a medium bowl, whisk together flour, almond meal, cocoa, salt, baking powder and cinnamon.

3. In a large bowl, whisk together sugar, almond milk, oil, applesauce and vanilla. Stir dry ingredients into wet until combined. Stir in zucchini and almonds. Fill muffin cups ¾ full and top each muffin with a pinch of sugar. Bake 25-28 minutes or until toothpick inserted in center comes out clean. Cool muffins in pan for 5 minutes, then transfer to rack to cool completely. These?ll be good in an airtight container for up to 3 days.