Siriously? I'm Serious: Things I Want To Eat Right Now But Won't

Welcome to this week's edition of Siriously? I'm Serious. The following are foods that I want, right now, or always, but refuse to buy, because, well, that would be bad.

HONEY BBQ FRITOS


Oh MAN I love these crunchy, curly things. And unlike many chips, these bags are FULL of snacky goodness. At least they were when I would eat entire bags for a snack in college. Yes, I gained the freshman 15.

MAGIC MIDDLES


Even if I WANTED to eat these right now I couldn't, Keebler no longer makes them. Why, Keebler, why??? I have such fond childhood memories of these little cookies... zapping them in the microwave for 20 seconds to warm up the fudgy center, breaking them in half and revealing the magic of the middle. I am angry with you Keebler, ANGRY. Wait, no I'm not, no, don't bring these back, that would be bad YES, do it! (No.)

McGRIDDLE


I'm a sucker for sweet and salty and this sandwich is right up there with sea salt truffles. Pancakes, eggs and salty sausage? It tastes like you're dipping bacon in maple syrup, yum. The last time I let myself indulge in a McGriddle was at an airport. For some reason, airports seem to say to me, "It's okay, Siri, you can have fast food. You're stuck here, for hours, nowhere to go. You have to eat something otherwise you'll die. I know there are bananas over there but what you don't know is the staff farts on the fruit. Yeah, better get fast food."

PEANUT BUTTER FILLED PRETZELS


From Trader Joe's. I really dig the peanut butter/pretzel combo. Creamy and crunchy and salty and a little sweet. I like to bite these in half and suck out the peanut butter. Was that too much information? You know what, screw this! I'm buying these and eating the whole bag.

*What would you like to eat right now but won't?