Splurge: Lunch for One at Schnipper's

Schnipper's even looks expensive -- girls in patent leather heels and guys plugging away at their BlackBerrys compose the clientele, and it's located inside the formidable (despite the climbable factor) New York Times building. I hear they're famous for their Sloppy Joes, but I'm a sucker for tomatoes, bacon, and melted cheese and ordered the grilled four cheese with the aforementioned additions. I wanted to check out the milkshakes too, so I chose the salted caramel one.

I just about upped and poked the shrimpy cashier's beady little eyes out when she told me I owed her $17 and change for the meal but soon realized that this would be counter-productive as she doesn't set the prices. But really, $17.56? The GD milkshake alone cost $6.50. The salt in there better have been Fleur de sel or I'm calling shenanigans on the two-timing Schnipper brothers.

The sandwich was pretty tasty, though not as colorful as I had hoped. Plum tomatoes were promised by the menu, but what I got were some anemic, barely-pink beefsteak slices. My favorite part was the bread. It's tough to make bread fried in butter and stuffed with cheese NOT greasy, but Schnipper's achieved that challenging feat. It was super crispy and resilient, putting up a little fight each time I tore off a piece of the crust.

The milkshake looked nondescript, its pallid color lightly streaked with tan waves of caramel. Its flavor, however, had about as much personality as the jokers sitting next to me (one of whom took a bite of his salad and yelled "they never put enough dressing on this SHIT!!"). It was equal parts sweet and salty (like mah man), each sip revealing different facets of the ingredients. With the first sip I designated it overly salty, but after I drank it for a little (more like a lotta) bit longer it tasted like a saccharine vanilla milkshake. Good, but more of a 2 am calorie-fest splurge than a "I have to sit upright at a desk and be a respectful person for 4 more hours until happy hour" kinda splurge.