Storm in a D-cup

PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) recently asked Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield, US co-founders of Ben and Jerry?s to replace cow?s milk in their ice cream products with human breast milk.

This followed news that Hans Locher, (below) owner of the Swiss restaurant Storchen had been advertising for women donors to provide breast milk for some of his recipes. He was offering just over £3 ($AUD6.82, $US5.30) for 14 ounces (415 mls) and said he would need about five litres to put a menu together.

He said he started experimenting with breast milk when his daughter was born. "One can cook really delicious things with it. However, it always needs to be mixed with a bit of whipped cream, in order to keep the consistency."

I just hope he wasn?t depriving his daughter. I know supply usually adjusts to demand, and the more milk a baby takes, the more the mother will produce (otherwise how could she accommodate twins?). But I do think a new mother has enough to do without getting into a totally bovine state. Anyone who has experienced the rush to get home to feed a baby, only to spring a mammary leak at the supermarket checkout, knows it takes a while to fine-tune these things.

No doubt breast pumps have become more sophisticated in recent times, thanks to all those nursing mothers who?ve had to return to the workforce and take breaks during the day to express milk. Or maybe Mr Locher planned a milking shed out the back of his restaurant at the exclusive Winterthur resort ? complete with pasteurisation plant?

And, at the end of the day, would customers be keen to sample mother?s milk sauces, soups, custards or whatever the chef dreams up? What if the breast milk brulee proved to be a huge success and demand outstripped supply? Could the milking mothers charge more? Or if chef asked them to consume vanilla pods or orange zest for flavoured milk?

Well, all that?s largely academic now. While the food control authority in Switzerland doesn?t list humans as approved milk-producing species like cows and sheep, humans weren?t on the banned list - which includes apes and primates - either. And so the authorities stepped in and banned the project.

Meanwhile Ben and Jerry?s, in response to the PETA letter, issued the following statement: "We applaud PETA's novel approach to bringing attention to an issue, but we believe a mother's milk is best used for her child."

Well, that was what PETA appeared to be hoping for, pointing out that cow's milk was for baby calves.

It doesn?t look like breast milk will be featuring on any dessert or ice cream menus any time soon. I'm sticking with cow's milk in my ice cream machine, thanks...