What a pearler!

I had a minor moment of trepidation last week. I received a letter from the Australian Quarantine and Inspection Service. It was an OMG moment as I pondered what I'd done wrong.



I've had dealings with these people when shifting countries four years ago. I'd gone online and read all their rules and regulations. The contents of my pantry, including all the herbs and spices were jettisoned or given to charity. My car was steam-cleaned from front bumper to back. Anything organic among our belongings that might possibly contain pests or diseases and be a threat to Australia were dumped. My conscience was clear.



Once our belongings hit Australian soil, AQIS was there checking them out. There was a little scarecrow my youngest had given me one birthday. It just happened to have a couple of sticks of straw I'd overlooked. The AQIS crew sniffed it out of the container and passed the death sentence. Actually, I think they said it could be fumigated at a cost, but I thought it was past its use-by date anyway.



My car had to be steam-cleaned again and it that would cost me round $150 - or they could destroy it for $27! I wondered how they arrived at that precise amount. No point in arguing or they might do the $27 deed. I coughed up for the auto sauna. The car mechanic who did the roadworthiness check a few days later wryly observed the cleaner had missed the dead bird resting in the engine compartment.



I've travelled back and forth to New Zealand numerous times since shifting here and I've always been super-diligent about not carrying anything that might compromise biosecurity either side of the Tasman. It's easier to ditch all the goodie bags from a food writers' conference than have to declare anything.



There's usually an alert official somewhere who'll look at my entry document and say "Oh, a food writer. Are you carrying any food, any samples?" Not me. I've watched fellow travellers having their clothing, herbal teas, plant-based medicines, animal products and general dirty linen aired in public and I wouldn't dare. I'm the sort of person who fears the breath-freshening mint in my handbag might be deemed "food" and I am well aware of the consequences of introducing exotic pests and diseases.



So the official envelope gave me a shock. It was a "Notice of intention to seize goods." A package addressed to me had been inspected at the Melbourne Gateway Facility and, in accordance with sub-section 68(3) of the Quarantine Act 1908, was going to be seized and destroyed or "otherwise disposed of in any way that the Director of Quarantine thinks appropriate", unless it was exported from Australia within 30 days.



Who had done this to me? What had they posted me?



Question 1 remains unanswered. AQIS wasn't naming names. As for Question 2, there was the answer in black and white. The offending shipment was a 760g package of "fresh baby perlas". Potatoes, no less. I suppose some eager beaver PR person wasn't paying attention to destination when they posted out samples to food writers.



Thanks to omniscient Google New Zealand, I discovered Perlas are a tiny new season potato, newcomers to the market. They are grown in New Zealand by A S Wilcox and Sons Ltd. They are sold cleaned and ready for the pot so if the Director of Quarantine thinks death by boiling would be a good way of disposing of the illicit spuds, I suggest he makes the Melbourne Gateway team some Greek style Perlas with Lemon Dressing for a job well done.



Oh, look, why don't I just post the recipe for him - one I've grabbed from the Wilcox website. Here in Oz we can use little cocktail spuds and pretend.





Greek Style Perlas Potatoes and Lemon Dressing



500g Perlas potatoes, cut in half

2 small red onions, thinly sliced

400g can chickpeas, drained & washed

175g cherry tomatoes, halved

175g sliced capsicum

50g black olives, pitted and chopped

small handful of flat leaved parsley, shredded

salt and freshly ground pepper



Dressing:

2 Tbsp extra virgin olive oil

2 Tbsp lemon juice

1/2 Tsp grated lemon zest

1 Tsp Dijon mustard



Place Perlas in a saucepan of cold water. Bring to the boil then simmer for 15 to 20 minutes, or until tender, then drain.



Place the ingredients for the dressing in a small bowl, season with a little salt and freshly ground pepper, then whisk together.



Put the potatoes into a bowl and whilst still warm pour over half of the dressing, leave to cool. Add the onion, chickpeas, capsicum, tomatoes, olives and parsley, then the remaining dressing, toss together.



Serve at room temperature. Serves 4-6





Recipe and photo © A S Wilcox and Sons Ltd