Going... going... gone!!

In the past three years I?ve attended a good many dinners at the Palladium in Melbourne?s Crown complex. They?ve ranged from the Grand Prix ball to charity auctions to milestone or sports-related events. It?s a great room and you can go there three times in a week and find it?s dressed up differently each time with attractive table settings, centrepieces and coloured lighting lending atmosphere.

The mood can be elegant, cutting edge, sophisticated, or maybe less formal. Every function is different, but probably the most memorable evenings are the ones when the Victoria?s real estate people gather for their black-tie awards dinner. Maybe it?s an occupational hazard, but if you judge them by this event, you come to the conclusion that they all talk very loudly but don?t want to listen.

The jabberfest begins in earnest when the MC for the evening attempts to get everyone?s attention. While a few people in the front tables do the polite thing and pay heed, down the back the rabble starts tightening the vocal cords up half an octave. They show no interest in what their industry leaders are trying to say. They don?t even have the courtesy to tone it down when their own colleagues are presented with their awards. Pleas from the MC to simply shut up for 30 seconds barely penetrate the wall of noise. Even politicians realise this is no captive audience.

I?ve seen guest speakers hastily edit their speeches from four minutes to 60 seconds in the vain hope two sentences might be heard.

Last week several of us fled before dessert because there?s one thing that can silence room full of real estate agents and that?s a live band shattering the sound barrier with speakers thumping at maximum decibels. Fortunately there was a nice quiet bar to retreat to nearby, while the feral mob advanced onto the dance floor and switched to body language.

Maybe the economy will quieten them down over the next few months?