Candy

Dave, a friend of ours, recently opened Rocket Fizz, a candy store in Ventura, California. Normally, this information would pass as pleasant dinner conversation. Then Dan told me it was going to be a candy store that sold the kinds of candy we ate as kids. That immediately got me interested.

?Will there be Zagnuts?? I asked Dan.

?Oh, yeah,? he said. Dan was helping Dave set up the store?s computer system, so he knew the entire inventory.

?Zagnuts are my favorite,? I told him. ?You have to hook me up the next time you go to his store.?

And hook me up he did. I had forgotten how the crunchy, sweet peanut butter complemented the toasted coconut. I gave half to Max, and as soon as I finished chewing, I said, ?This would be a great in ice cream.? Max agreed, so I engaged Dan on a mission to procure more Zagnuts. He had a few more hours of work to do on Dave?s computer system before the store opened, so he made good and brought me back several for the ice cream. The ice cream was superb, and the boys tore through it rather quickly.

When Dan told me that Dave was having the grand opening for Rocket Fizz the weekend before Thanksgiving, I practically begged to go. As soon as I walked in, I became eight years old. There was candy everywhere! Razzles (a candy and a gum!), Charleston Chews, Chunkys, Wonka Bars,those big swirly lollipops that take a week to consume, Hot Tamales, Clark Bars, Bit O? Honeys, my beloved Zagnuts, and an entire back wall devoted to salt-water taffy are just a morsel of the offerings.




They also have the most amazing selection of soda under one roof. Some of the brand names made me laugh out loud. (Judge Wapner is Dave?s second cousin, so he probably felt obligated to stock the Judge Wapner Root Beer.)




Yoo-Hoo is one of Dan?s favorite drinks. After our wedding reception we sat around opening gifts, and our friend Tait poured Dan a Yoo-Hoo in one of the Orrefors crystal champagne glasses he had given us. Those glasses are the official Yoo-Hoo receptacles.


Dan?s unhealthy food choices have long been the target of many jokes, but he rarely gets sick. My philosophy: His body is so filled with preservatives and caramel coloring that no bacteria can survive long enough to gain purchase.

The preservatives may play a part in deflecting bacteria, but I?m convinced his fine health has more to do with his work: When he?s not helping out his candy-store-owning friends and other retailers, he acts in movies playing goofy lawyers and even goofier psychiatrists. He?s very good at both of his jobs, and he makes people laugh all the time. So, I think as long as he continues to make people laugh, he can probably eat anything he wants. Damn him.

Zagnut Ice Cream
Makes close to a quart

Zagnuts are the ultimate candy, I think, but if you have to sub another kind of candy, I understand. Just make sure it?s something peanut-buttery and crunchy. Kit-Kats would also work nicely, and they are pretty easy to procure.

1 cup reduced-fat milk
Scant ? cup sugar
1½ cups heavy cream
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
Generous pinch sea salt
3-4 Zagnut bars, coarsely chopped or broken up

1. Combine milk and sugar into large mixing bowl. Use hand mixer on low speed for 2 minutes or use whisk to dissolve sugar. Whisking takes more like 3-4 minutes for sugar to dissolve.

2. Mix in heavy cream and vanilla extract.

3. Pour the mixture into your ice cream maker and add the sea salt. Follow the instructions specific to your machine to thicken the ice cream. (Mine takes about 23 minutes.)

4. Five minutes before the ice cream has reached desired thickness, pour in the chopped Zagnut bars. Let it work its magic, then transfer ice cream to a container and freeze for an hour or two. If the ice cream gets really hard, take out of the freezer and let soften for 10 minutes before serving.