New Traditions Here I Come!!

So last week I mentioned my mom was wanting to spending Christmas at her cousins house. Well it looks like I'll be starting some new traditions this year.

Some of you may know my dad remarried when I was around 9 to the person I know as mom. My "egg donor" mother left when I was 5 and I only saw her once after that. When my dad remarried we went from a small family to my mom's rather large extended family. Now don't get me wrong everyone is very nice and cordial but something about being a step child you just never feel like you exactly fit in. So it's not that I don't care for my mom's extended family but spending my holiday with them is like feeling like that outside all over again. Thanks but I rather enjoy my holiday and want to feel easy, I don't do well when I don't feel comfortable.

So last year after a lot of tears and some comprises (all on my end) we went to this cousins house for Christmas dinner, under the assumption that it would be this one time. Dinner was ok, talk was ok but again it was like being on the outside of the bubble. You ever go to a party where every one knows each other and you're trying to bust into the bubble! Yup, plus when you have young kids it sucks being at someone else's house that has older kids. You running around sweating and just wanting to go home, but it was such a far drive you have to stay!

So this year when I received an email from my mom that she signed us up again to go, my heart sunk! I love Christmas and putting on the dinner and having my immediate family here to enjoy and laugh together. I was so sad that my parents wouldn't be a part of these very special day, yes Rick you called it Thanksgiving day went so well it was bound to happen to Christmas! So mom told me she doesn't get to see her uncle but once a year. We won't mention he only lives 30 minutes away from her and we just saw him at the family reunion 2 months ago. Those who know me will be very proud I didn't cry when she told me (I'm a weeping willow). I just asked nicely if she could stop by on there way there.

So there it is my Christmas won't be exactly the way I wanted it but it's a new beginning and I have the people that are most important to me here. Yes I know I'm a whiner but sometimes you just need to vent ;). Thanks to everyone who sent me encouragement words last week about this. I really appreciate it bunches!