Daniela's Princesses & Pirates Birthday Party

I feel both a twinge of pride and loneliness that my little girl has turned four. If only I could keep her my little girl forever. Where has the time gone? She's four now... later ten.... then twenty. I will die if she tells me that she wants to go flatting - as seems to be the norm with teens her. Flatting! At sixteen! How does that happen? At sixteen, I was a stupid girl who thought she knew everything she needed to know. There is no way I can let my little girl go at that age.

I look at Daniela now and see how much she's grown. She's so different from me... and yet we are so much alike. Different from her sister. She's her own little person. There is a little sadness behind my eyes as I look at her. Behind my eyes are tears for yesterdays passed and gone. No longer is she the little person who fed from me and demanded my time and attention. Gone are the days when I could carry her with just one arm. I feel a sense of panic when I see in her everything that I have and am missing.

Princesses and Pirates. She's my little princess. I'm not quite sure that I want a pirate. I'm no good with pirates. But who knows? Never say never. The only way to heal the hurt by the growing up of a little girl is to focus on another. There's my other little princess. But then that too will one day go. And then what? A pirate? A third princess? Oh God!

She asked for a castle cake, when I asked her what she wanted. *A pink castle cake Mom*. Said with such conviction. She knew and knows what she wants... and that's good. But the panic I went through with this cake!! Arrrrrgggghhh!!! And it wasn't even the castle-ing. I made 2 batches of cake before I succeeded on the 3rd. I'm not sure what happened. The first batch was a store bought cake mix. *yes, a cake mix* I thought I would try and cut back on the time and ingredients and go for a cake mix. I followed the directions and put it in the oven for 40 minutes. When it came out, it was a sunken tin of flopped cake! Waaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!! I will never use cake mix again!!! (I vowed). So I set to work on the second batch... this time using my own recipe... and put it in the oven for 40 minutes. *Nooooooooooooooooooooo!!! * That too was a sunken tin of flopped cake! What's going on? Relax... relax... sssshhhhh. I sat back for a bit. It was 12:00nn. 4-hours to my daughter's birthday party, and I haven't even gotten a cake base to stand up properly. I was forming an image of my Daniela blowing out candles not on a cake but maybe a twinky!! Wah!!

Ssssshhhhh. Relax. Ommmmmmm. *Give it another go*, my husband said. Ok. I can do this. I have done this so many times. I can do this! I kept repeating this to myself while I started on the 3rd batch. I deviated from my recipe... not 40-minutes, not 50-minutes... but 60. By now I realised it was not my fault, but that of my oven. Whew.

The result... a 2 tier princess castle cake. Wow Mom!! You did it!!! She was so happy... my little girl. I finished just a half hour before the guests started arriving. *whew-sigh-ack*