Vegan Veal Chops with Sunchoke Caponata

Let's start off with some excellent news! I found out this past week that a film I'm in called "Stay Cool" is going to be in the competition section of the Tribeca Film Festival! This film is very special to me:
A) Because I'm in it.
B) Because while I was on set filming, I experienced my first earthquake. Not only was it my first earthquake, but my life was saved during this quake by none other than Hilary Duff. When the gym started shaking violently, I freaked out. I didn't know what to do. Thank goodness for Ms. Duff's quick witted nature. She was sitting next to me when the world started to rock. I screamed to her "What do we do?!". In this moment of sheer crisis, Hilary looked me deep in the eyes, instantly calming me with her movie star finesse. "We run.", she declared, and led me away to safety. So thank you, Ms. Duff. I am forever indebted to you. Anyway...

For those of you who take an active interest in my baked goods, you may have noticed their sudden disappearance from the LA Vegan Restaurant scene. Although it's not something I discuss here often, my main reason for living in Los Angeles is to pursue a career in acting...mainly comedy. 2008 was an exceptionally slow year in my acting world. The Writers Strike and pending SAG strike all but halted my auditions. For two amazing years prior (2006-2007), I was on an amazing ride. I filmed several TV shows and National Commercials, and was quite content believing that I could live off of Reno 911, Dunkin' Donuts and Time Warner Cable residuals like a true artist.

I enjoyed the life of a freelance delinquent for quite a while. My expenses were and still are fairly minimal. Food, beer, "herbals" and fuel for my sexy VW Golf. Maybe a thrift store grandma sweater here or there. But as my bank account began to decrease, my anxiety did quite the opposite. Sure, I could call up Mama Shags and ask for a little cash to hold me over. But cash from Mom comes with a heavy yearly interest of 30% JGPR (Jew Guilt Percentage Rate). A risk I wasn't quite ready to take. So, I did the impossible. I got a job.

*GASP!*

Yes. A real job. And I loved every minute of it. I worked at this fantastic little restaurant in West LA called Jax Vegan Cafe. We stocked a Vegan Twinkie from New York, but the company discontinued shipping them. The owner put a Twinkie pan in my hand, and I set off on a mission. It took many many weeks, but I finally perfected my recipe. Sadly, Jax Vegan Cafe closed about a week later. I wasn't going to let those bad boys go to waste. I think you know the rest of the story.

In any event, acting is back in action. I tried to make doing both careers work as much as possible, but I've always been a fan of balance. Quite frankly, my scales were tipped a little too much for comfort. I wasn't making enough money baking to keep myself afloat, and I was exhausted at my auditions after waking up at 5am and running around like a monkey for 6 hours. But fear not, Vegan Twinkie Lovers. I am actively trying to find a co-packer to help me professionally package them for distribution. If you have any suggestions or connections, please shoot me an e-mail.

And yes, I made vegan veal. I'm sorry. I didn't even eat veal as a meat eater, but hopefully a mighty tasty alternative will keep a few of those sick fucks away from innocent baby animals.


4 Vegan Veal Chops (recipe follows) 2 Sunchokes, peeled and diced1 small Eggplant, diced1/2 Yellow Onion, diced2 stalks Celery, dicedHandful of Grape Plum Tomatoes, halved2 Garlic Bulbs, halved , plus a few extra peeled cloves2 sprigs fresh Rosemary1 Lemon , halvedSugar, for caramelizing Sunchokes and Eggplant10 Caper Berries2 TBSP Capers, rinsed and drainedHandful Green Olives , halvedHandful of fresh Basil leavesHandful Pine Nuts , toastedOlive Oil, enough for frying1 TBSP Earth BalanceSalt and Pepper, to taste
Directions
Season the Vegan Veal Chops well with Salt and Pepper.
Take a large frying pan, and add enough Olive Oil to coat the bottom of the pan well. Heat the oil over medium high heat, then add halved Garlic Bulbs, Rosemary and "Chops" to the pan.
Cook the "Chops" for 2-3 minutes on one side, then add Earth Balance to the pan, basting the "Chops" with it once it melts.
Cook for another 2-3 minutes on the other side, then transfer to a plate.
Squeeze over half a lemon, then cover loosely with foil.

Wipe out the frying pan, discarding the garlic bulbs and rosemary, and drizzle in more olive oil. Heat oil over medium high heat.
Fry the Sunchokes and extra peeled Whole Garlic Cloves for 3-4 minutes, then add Eggplant to the pan and cook for 2 minutes, then sprinkle with sugar and a pinch of salt. Cook an additional 2-3 minutes until Eggplant is brown.

Add the Onions and cook for 2-3 minutes, then add the Celery and cook for an additional 2-3 minutes. Add in the Tomatoes, Caper Berries, Capers and Olives. Toss for 1 minute.
Zest and juice the other lemon half, add to the pan and remove from heat. Season with Salt and Pepper to taste.
Add in the fresh Basil Leaves, and allow them to wilt.

Serve "Chops" over Caponata, garnishing with Toasted Pine Nuts.


Seitan:
1 1/2 cups Vital Wheat Gluten
1 1/2 cups + 1 TBSP Water mixed with...
1 tsp Better Than Bouillon's No Beef Broth Paste
1 1/2 TBSP MimicCreme

Broth:
6 cups prepared Better Than Bouillon's No Chicken Broth
1/4 cup Tamari
1 cup prepared Better Than Bouillon's No Beef Broth
1 bottle of Guinness Beer
1 cup MimicCreme
Handful of Dried Porcini Mushrooms
1 tsp Garlic Powder
1 tsp Onion Powder

Combine all of the broth ingredients in a large pot, and bring to a boil.

While the broth is heating up, make your Seitan Dough by mixing and kneading the Vital Wheat Gluten, Water/Bouillon blend, and MimicCreme until it's completely mixed. It will be a little more wet than most seitan doughs. Squeeze out the excess liquid, and form the mixture into a ball. On a cutting board, flatten the ball out, and use kitchen shears to cut into eight "Chops". Before putting in boiling broth, flatten each part down by pressing it firmly between your hands, then drop them into the pot.

Cover the pot, reduce heat to simmer, and let the seitan cook for a little over an hour, stirring every 10-15 minutes.

Remove the "Chops" from the broth with a slotted spoon and place in a colander to drain/cool.

You can reserve the broth to re-use another day. Hey..the economy is shit. We gotta get by somehow, right?