Fennel, Vidalia Onion and Roasted Garlic Potato Latkes with Mom's Apple Sauce

Oh, to be a Jew on Christmas. Personally, I don't think enough people realize the annual struggle I endure every December 25th to find the inevitably open Chinese restaurant and decent B movie(s) that will help the day be more tolerable. Sometimes I get lucky and one of my friends will invite me over for a little Jesus Birthday Bashing, but 4 times out of 5, I'm left wishing I was at least a half-breed*. Don't get me wrong...I definitely do my best to be festive. After all, you know how the story goes:

Roses are reddish,
Violets are blueish.
If it weren't for Jesus,
We'd all be Jewish!

Jesus was, indeed, Jewish. And Jews always know how to throw one hell of a party.

This year, I'm making a pledge. I will not sulk over my toaster re-heated latkes while watching A Christmas Story for the 9th time. I will not eat Chinese food with my family while longing for a taste of comforting mashed potatoes and vegan gravy. I will participate.

My mother and I will make Vegan Waffles together. My family will open the Hanukkah presents I've been saving for Christmas morning just so I can know what the joy is all about. We will spend all day in the kitchen together preparing a feast that will leave us so full, watching A Christmas Story for the 9th time will seem like an appealing idea. We will drink Silk Nog by the fire, then pass out by 9:30, stomachs full of food and my mom's wicked mojitos.

But I will say this. For lunch, I'm still eating my toaster re-heated latkes. Because they are damn good. And if I'm going to assimilate myself and accept the Americanization of a religious holiday that is not my own, you should make these and do the same.

Merry Christmas :)

*(That means 1/2 Jew, 1/2 Shiksa)


2 Large Russet Potatoes1 large Vidalia Onion1 bulb Fennel1 Leek2 heads Roasted Garlic1/4 cup Fresh Parsley, minced
1/2 cup MimicCreme4 tsp Egg Replacer Powder, dry
1/2 cup Potato Starch
2-3 tsp SaltFreshly Cracked Black PepperA shit-ton of Canola Oil, for frying

Preheat your oven to 400°F. Peel away the outer layers of the garlic bulbs' skin, making sure to leave the skins of the individual cloves intact. Cut off 1/4 to of the top of cloves to reveal the individual cloves of garlic. Place each garlic head on a sheet of aluminum foil, drizzle and rub well with olive oil, then wrap each garlic head up in foil. Bake on a baking sheet at 400°F for 30-35 minutes, or until the cloves feel soft when pressed. Allow to cool, and set aside.

Turn down the oven to 200F.

Cut Potatoes, Fennel Bulb and Onion into pieces small enough to fit through the shoot of your food processor. Using the grater attachment, shred the Potatoes, Fennel and Onion, then places the grated goodness into a large bowl. If you really want to get in touch with your inner Bubbie, use the big holes on a grater to grate the potatoes by hand.

Take the Leek, and use a knife to remove the dark green tops and the very bottom root end. Split in half lengthwise, then rinse the dirt out of each side. Slice width-wise in very thin moon shaped slices. Combine the Leeks with the grated Potato, Fennel Bulb and Onion in a large mixing bowl. Add Salt, MimicCreme, and Black Pepper. Squeeze the roasted Garlic Bulbs out of their skins and into the bowl, and combine well. Gently sprinkle potato starch across the top, then stir to combine thoroughly. Taste for salt.

Heat about 1/3-1/2 inch of canola oil in a large, heavy skillet over medium-high heat, until just below the smoking point.

Scoop a spoon-full of batter onto a slotted spatula, and use a second spatula to smash down into a thin pancake. They should be about 1/3 to 1/2 inch thick. Carefully push each latke into the oil. If it falls apart a little, just press it together with the spatula. Also press down on the latke to flatten in out. The first batch is always the hardest, so go easy on yourself. Fry until golden brown on the bottom and outside corners, then flip and brown the other side. Or, if you're my sister, fry until black and burned.

Transfer latkes to a plate lined with paper towels to absorb oil. If you're not serving immediately, place them on a baking sheet into your 200 degree oven to keep warm.

Top with Vegan Sour Cream and serve with Mom's Apple Sauce!